The Worst of NBA Grooming - Bubble Edition!

The Worst of NBA Grooming - Bubble Edition!

Quarantine has not been especially friendly to many of us in the grooming department. Intermittent barbershop closings, working from home, and a global razor shortage (k, I made that one up, but you would have believed it!) have created a whirlwind of #quaratinehair.
I think we can all agree that quarantine has not been especially friendly in the grooming department for many of us. Intermittent barbershop closings, working from home, and a global razor shortage (k, I made that one up, but you would have believed it!) have created a whirlwind of #quaratinehair.

The NBA players invited to the "bubble" in Orlando have not been exempt from this...but they should be! The NBA has provided THREE barbershop locations within the bubble! Rajon Rondo's brother, Will, helped run these shops and told GQ, "Well, we’ve all had that quarantine growth, right? I’d say at least 70% of the league showed up that way." Today, we take a look at some of those that never bothered to swing by for a trim.

Jimmy Butler

Jimmy Butler

This is a weird one because Jimmy is a stylish dude who definitely cares about looking good. But his look during this bubble has been...let's say "scraggly." I have to assume this out of character look is related to one of the following:

  1. Some sort of superstition (fair)
  2. He's trying to look more like a hipster barista while slangin' overpriced coffee (respect the hustle)
  3. He's so focused on winning the NBA finals, he can't think about anything other than basketball (most likely explanation)

The hair is actually really dope, but maybe let's just trim up those whiskers please, Jimmy. Ok, now go beat the Lakeshow!


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Kelly Olynyk

Kelly Olynyk

Sorry to harp on the Miami Heat, but...

You wanna grow your hair out and tie it up? Totally cool, we have to respect a good flow. But why in God's name do we have to do the overgrown chin look? This actually has nothing to do with quarantine or the bubble, it's been Olynyk's look for years...but that doesn't make it good. Maybe this look stems from Kelly's native Canada, but regardless, it would look so much better if it didn't run completely rampant. At this point, just go full Jack Sparrow and braid that shit with beads.

Harrison Barnes

Harrison Barnes

Barnes is, by all accounts, an amazing dude. He was one of this year's Community Assist Award winners, and he and his wife donated $200k to nonprofits that were created by the families of victims of police brutality and gun violence when the bubble began...

Ok, now I feel like a dick for saying ANYTHING bad about him, but actually his overgrown beard is the result of him being a great competitor as well! He vowed to let his beard grow until the Kings' record got to .500 or until they made the playoffs. Sounds a bit ambitious, but the Kings were only three games below .500 when he made this pledge. Then things went...poorly.

On the bright side, it sounds like Barnes got an education in beard oil and maintenance. PLUS, now that the Kings have been eliminated from playoff contention (for the 16th year in a row, no biggie), Barnes has finally shaved...and got paid for it! What a guy :)

Gordon Hayward

Gordon Hayward

We're all rooting for Hayward to get back to All-Star level performance after his gruesome injury a few years ago, but I'm not sure we're rooting for him to keep this mustache. To be fair, when he entered the league, Gordie Hayward looked like this, so don't get me wrong, he's come a longgggg way. That said, we're not completely sold on the porn-stache.

Henry Cavill's stache in Mission: Impossible - Fallout is really the only acceptable way to do this, and Hayward's version just misses the mark. Hair is looking tight though! We still like ya, Hayward! Please don't send Marcus Smart to come beat my ass!


These last few months have been rough on all of us, but it's important to remember to take care of yourself! When you look good, smell good, when your living space smells great, you feel much better.

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